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fuck.

i dont even know where to start. decided to log in here because its the only place i can go where i know the people who read it actually give a shit about me

my love life is never going anywhere and i am going to be single forever. i came to this conclusion TWO WEEKS ago, but still i continue to talk to the kid who made me realize this sad fact. why do we let ourselves be brought down by someone, but continue to care what they think? maybe its just me. idk, fuck him though. but hes so pretty. and i know he is a sweetheart. these are the thoughts that rush through my head every fucking day. then i think about steve! poor steve i broke his heart and i didnt even know. and as all these thoughts rush through my head marco always slips in there. how different would this year be if he was here. maybe id actually feel happy, and loved. dont get me wrong i know all the boys love me but nobody LOVES me. nobody can look at me and say, “im head over heels crazy for this girl” and i dont know if anyone ever will. its scary. sometimes i think if marco was here everything would be fine and i wouldnt feel so empty. it just feels like somethings missing and its not fair. why do all these people have relationships where they cheat and lie. its just ridiculous. on top of all that i feel like i lost my true best friend. and i know i didnt, it just bothers me so much that we dont talk when were at school. she means the world to me but were both so caught up in our own lives we dont even have time to stop and talk to each other. it hurts it really does, but i know everything will be fine when we get home. I just want to feel whole, and complete. but i feel like no matter where i am, or what im doing i never will

i just feel lost and completely broken and i want to know someone will be there no matter what 

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